Original practice card
Use one fixed example for a fair comparison.
Original story spine: Inez finds a folded map in the library; rain erases the shortcut; she follows the street signs and reaches the meeting late. Tell it without a script, then answer “Why did she abandon the map?” The revised version should make the rain-to-decision connection clear before the question is asked.
How should the first pass work?
Read the example and limits before starting, keep a baseline, and work through the six drills above. Make two takes with a recording device you control and note the specific change privately. On playback, check that information remains intact before judging expressive choices. Stop if uncomfortable; no audio upload is needed.